dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So much rum. So many feels.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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