Yo dont text me then not text me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
