big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
