YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
