Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
