yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
