How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
