Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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