Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
