i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
