in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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