So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
