at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
