I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize