please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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