I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
