imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize