There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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