Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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