Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
