make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
