I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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