So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
