Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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