just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
