I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
