I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
