My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
