I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
