She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
