didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
