On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
