Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
