just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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