I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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