In the future we'll all be gay
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
