so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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