I hope mine doesn't look like that
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
