I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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