I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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