Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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