We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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