Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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