I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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