So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I deserve this hangover.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
