Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
