so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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