How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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