there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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