Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
