well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
