I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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